Mine the Harvest

I’ve often wondered what a complete collapse of the core infrastructure of the country would be like – ala Jericho (the ABC TV show) style. Today was a great example . . .

4:43 In Line

The high school student moves to scan my very last of 10 items when it happens. The EMP hits. All the registers go down simultaneously. All systems are off line. The UPSes begin chirping.  I wait for the systems to reboot. It’s not looking good. People are starting to look pretty confused. New people walk in and are stunned – they start to mill back and forth.

4:47 Take Action

Time to militarize this operation. “Can you do a manual ticket?” I inquire of the young lady. “I would have to get okay from my manager . . . ” She replies. “Great, let me just borrow that pen and I’ll be right back.” I take a paper bag and head off to get my prices. The lines are quite long now. The store managers direct cookies be passed out to calm the masses. The teenager behind me on her cell phone does not appear to notice anything is out of the ordinary yet. I wonder if the phone actually works.

4:49 Operation Dinner Liberation

Mapping the most efficient route I quickly obtain the prices for my select staples and return. (The lights go on and off a few times – perhaps switching backup power sources) I ask customer services to write a manual ticket. I ask if the phone lines are up to accept credit cards. Nope. No problem I will be right back.

4:58 Assessing the Damage

The EMP took out all comm for the area – looks like the T1 is down, the ATMs outside are off line. The ATM for the bank next door is also off line. I continue and discover the event horizon, thankfully CSV is non-effected. (Apparently their entire operation is wrapped in a Faraday cage? Interesting . . . note to self.)

5:04 Financial Reorganization

I purchase a pack of gum for $1.50 and get the maximum cash back of $35. They will likely never know the entire financial system is gone and that was only a temporary VISA authorization approval – oh well, this is war.

5:07 Fast Attack

Returning I find the customer services rep has totaled my groceries as I am still the only customer with a manual tab or at Customer Services at all. It is for $37.50 – no problem, “I don’t need the gum any more.”, take that off and it’s $36.00, she takes my $35 and calls it a good trade.

5:10 Clean Exit

I survey the situation – all the original people are still in line, plus many more. The teenager is still on the phone. UPSes are still going off. They seem to think power will return any minute – maybe it’s better they don’t know. Time to go.

This social experiment (highly scientific obviously) shows that given total infrastructure breakdown:

A) Most people do nothing whatsoever, assuming someone will fix it.

B) Teenagers will not survive

C) Any plan, no matter how poorly conceived if bravely executed is better than inaction.

D) If an EMP hits, the population of this country is doomed.

All in good humor. Or is it? Ford and GM teeter on bankruptcy, the investments banks have collapsed, Iceland is bankrupt and the US debt is beyond reckoning while home foreclosures soar and we fight two wars. I can’t imagine what things might be like if it gets serious around here. Of course, I won’t still be here to know – the mountains in Colorado and Alaska are calling me home . . .